ADAM: Oh god! This is exciting! Grab what you can and- (pulls blanket and reveals DELIA.) Wheres your handbook? Oh, Adam, were just getting started! To the dead. Rule number two: every new ghost gets a tote bag! DELIA: AHHH! We mostly just watched and drank wine. Delia! close. BEETLEJUICE: So. Im not going anywhere! BEETLEJUICE: Whaaaat? Beetlejuice the Musical Script by Jesse. CHARLES: Lydia, I have asked Delia to marry me. Im going to find mom! we have to go home! ), BEETLEJUICE: HEY ITS GREAT THAT YOU ATE UP MY PLAN, NOW THE POOCH HAS BEEN SCREWED AND THE SHIT HIT THE FAN, BEETLEJUICE: YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG BOOK. And I think Ill take a chance on life! (they scream.) MAITLANDS: BJ IS A GRADUATE OF JUILLIARD! Eddie Perfect, Lydia is a dark, yet exceedingly smart young woman. BEETLEJUICE: And now for the moment youve all been waiting for! From comedy to drama and everything in between, we hope that you can find one that you love. Welcome to MsMojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the Top 10 Dance Scenes in '80s Movies. Lets find out! BEETLJUICE: You know overnight delivery cost extra. Not answering! You go to the Netherworld, you dont come back. We got any kids in the audience? Hold on! I mean, not this, I dont think anyone could have predicted this. Oh you dont have a handbook? No one likes it, throw it out.. Im gonna need some help! But thats only because I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN! DELIA: Knock Knock! No he wont, youll just be dead. CHARLES: I already did change. What am I doing? BEETLEJUICE: Well, well, well, kid. Unless, are you horribly disfigured? BEETLEJUICE: Nothing, so your dad wants to suck me into this fancy box. JUNO: Anyone whose ever died is in there. CHARLES: Lydia, you have moped around for months, dressed in black, obsessing about death! You see Charles, as a life coach, I have but one enemy. Lydias vision was right! (goes to kiss him, but gags.). PRIEST: In times like these, we have no words, we have only each other. OTHO: Yes, (imitating DELIA) Woah! YOU CAN DIE TOGETHER! LYDIA: I want you to stay. He was fast! One minute youre on top of the world, and the next minute, you feel like no one will ever love you This guy knows what Im talking about! Girl, just say it three times in a row. IM TIRED OF TRYIN TO IRON OUT MY CREASES, HE WANTS ME TO SMILE AND CLAP LIKE A PERFORMING SEAL, YOU WONT BELIEVE THE MESS THAT WEVE BECOME, ARE YOU RECEIVING? And that is why you need me! LYDIA: What? Thats your answer for everything! I had a vision once. And Ill admit. Do you mind if we all share this house! frowns at the MUSIC. But she was talking about us. Thats why Ive been trying so hard to build a new one. Chuck, I never leave home without them (he and MAXINE erupt into laughter.) (BEETLEJUICE bursts in on the Sandworm.). Everyone here would go back if they could! DELIA: I dont understand! Nothing would give me more pleasure than to kill those people downstairs. CHARLES: OkayOtho! [speaks in Lydia's voice] Beetlejuice: I'm Lydia Deetz and I'm of sound mind. Join the StageAgent community ADAM: My whole life flashed before my eyes! OTHO: Its Kevin! Scripture tells us, Sorrow not. Well that wouldve been good to know. Im sorry its kind of a mess. Fool your friends! Why would anyone wanna spend more time with their mother? You dont like your dad, and I dont like my mom! (ADAM kisses BEETEJUICE. All monologues are property and copyright of their owners. Is that why youre wearing those sheets? Well you got what you wanted, Dad. Now, we dont have a lot of time. If I had known. BEETLEJUICE: Hey! I dont know what I did. DELIA: Charles, maybe we should just tell her about us. LYDIA: It's like I told you, Dad: This house is haunted and the ghosts who live here want you out! (DELIA and CHARLES make out on the table.). When she entered the kitchen there was Beetlejuice at the table, working on a crossword, wearing brand new reading glasses. Every single time I finally feel like I start to belong, its Goodbye Delia Youre out of the band Delia Vishnu doesnt need more disciples Delia!. Like these weirdos. Gain full access to show guides, character breakdowns, auditions, monologues and more! GET OUTTA MY WAY. Welcome to the family, son. Beetlejuice- wedding scene by beetlejuice - Karaoke Lyrics on Smule. After Adam and Barbara realized that Lydia wasn't like the rest of her family, they didn't want Betelgeuse to scare her anymore. BARBARA: Handbook For The Recently Deceased? BEETLEJUICE: Oh, I don't live here, I'm dead! BEETLEJUICE: Looks like we're not invisible anymore! JUNO: My name is Juno! This is already the BEST exorcism Ive ever been to! Were going to play a little game! Powerless. AH AH AH! CHARLES: Oh yes, Lydia, she uh, Im afraid she wont be joining us. Oh father dear! Then, the B-mans free and the mai tais are on me. BEETLEJUICE: Thank you! Puppet show!! LYDIA: Yeah. The script was . Your moms dead, shes in the Netherworld. BEETLEJUICE: Sorry, kid. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" Based on Tim Burton's blockbuster film of the same name, this animated show features Beetlejuice, the wild "ghost with the most" from the "Neitherworld" and his mortal best friend Lydia Deetz, a young, perky goth girl attending a private school in a sleepy little Connecticut town. Monologues are presented on StageAgent for educational purposes only. Where are you going? BEING YOUNG AND FEMALE DOESN'T MEAN THAT I'M AN EASY MARK, BEETLEJUICE: I'M OFFERING YOU A FULL-TIME SPECTER. ), BARBARA: MAITLANDS 2.0! DELIA: Why does this always happen to me? Wait, why aren't you dancing? LYDIA: I dont wanna forget about her. Thats why youre stuck in the attic! howd you get her to marry you? youre getting really comfy with the whole being dead thing! Its the perfect weapon to help you vanquish your ghost. Lets spin the wheel. And then she was like But I dont have any baby oil! and then I was like Well, Ive got some guacamole. And that is how I made nachos with Catherine Hepburn. CHARLES: HELLO! Well be right back. BARBARA: Thats so strange, Its not hot. These ghosts are gonna make us a fortune! I see you. And he's to blame. However, we have dozens of other monologues that you can read. BEETLEJUICE: Well make it snappy, I WANT CAKE! Thank God you didn't die in Italy.". LYDIA: Yeah, you said Stop acting so weird, I need this job., DELIA: No! GIRL SCOUT: Okay Well- Maybe I should come back another time when your parents are home? ADAM: Chapter one! But the two of you can. Im not comfortable withfeelingsyou know that. **Beetlejuice: The Musical has ended its Broadway run, but is currently touring nationally. And I like the attic! Ages 12-17: Camp Broadway Ensemble @ Carnegie Hall. ADAM: I have an idea! CHARLES: Wouldnt even know where to start. Im so glad you could make it! Got any references? THE MAITLANDS: (creepily.) I gotta keep these two lovebirds here, with me so they can haunt their house Ahh! DELIA: SUCKS-YES! Im always prepared. (referring to DELIA.) One big dark room. what Im trying to say is; I hired you to help my daughter, but you have ended up helping me. : 1) Lollapalooza -- Created in 1991 as a farewell tour for Perry Farrell's band, it ran annually until 1997, and was revived in 2003. . Were still together. Alone. What does that mean? MOVER 2: Eh, who cares, its going to the dump! Scripture tells us, "Sorrow not. Youll have to open the door to find out. Fuck Brigadoon. Our countdown includes scenes from "Beetlejuice", "School Daze", "Grease 2" and more! BEETLEJUICE: For a price. Draw a door, go home! Now, Im gonna go find a room to bless. Where do books go when they die? Well, I dont know, book. Make My Millennium!". DELIA: Well, Im so happy for all of you. Youre under so much stress, you must relax! DELIA: No, I thought youd be proud of me for taking inititAHve. ADAM: Well, why do we have to make them say it? Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" IT'S SHOWTIME! BEETLEJUICE: (sinisterly.) All I have to do is convince Lydia to marry me. Mmmmmm, yes! Is this it? And we should tell her that! CHARLES: Lydia, Im not going to answer a question like that. But first, I gotta toss the rule book. The rule bookI present: The Handbook for The Recently Deceased. "Let's turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.". Netherworld. And here we are sneaking around like two teenagers at a church picnic. MAXIE DEAN: Chuck, you moron! It couldve been bad! CHARLES: Lydia, this is a good thing. LYDIA: My whole life is a dark room. LYDIA: Perhaps thats because I myself, am strange and unusual. Barbara, its like one of our classes! And Ive got a plan. No! And I'm just Hamlet going insane. (Instrumental with screams layered as BEETLEJUICE is unleashed.). So if you wanna save Barbara, then I need you to marry me! This is the first nice moment Ive had since I got here. I wish I was still alive, I WAS DRIVING LAMBORGHINIS SIPPING SUPER-DRY MARTINIS, AN UNHAPPY BEAUTY QUEEN WHO DREAMED TO BE MISS ARGENTINA, I WOULD'VE STUCK IT OUT KNOWING WHAT LIFE'S ABOUT, I WOULD HAVE LOOKED WITHIN AND LET LOVE IN SOMEHOW, SEE A SHRINK CALL A PRIEST ASK THE RECENTLY DECEASED, DEATH IS FINAL AND YOU CANNOT PRESS REWIND, SKYDIVER: DON'T JUMP WHEN THE LIGHT IS RED, TOASTER LADY: TOASTERS SHOULD BE USED FOR BREAD, FOOTBALL PLAYER: NIETZSCHE WAS RIGHT, Y'KNOW, TO LIVE IS TO SUFFER, BRO, I WOULD'VE LAUGHED AND DANCED AND LANCED EVERY SACRED COW, 'CAUSE LIFE IS SHORT BUT DEATH IS SUPER LONG, MISS ARGENTINA: IF I KNEW THEN (IF I KNEW), ALL: I WOULD'VE CROSSED EVERY LINE AND DRANK ALL THE WINE, I WOULD RIDE THE HIGHS AND CHERISH THE LOWS, GOING, IT'S A QUICK TRICK 'ROUND THE RODEO, MISS ARGENTINA: SO BEFORE THEY LOWER THE CURTAIN, BE CERTAIN TO ENJOY THE SHOW, ENSEMBLE: LIFE IS SHORT BUT DEATH IS LONG HERE, ONE MINUTE THEN IT'S GONE. OKAY? BEETLEJUICE: Please dont make me beg. (ADAM and BARBARA scream as BARBARAs hand is on fire.). LYDIA: I dont know! Ill do it. LYDIA: Let me get you some cash for those cookies! I hid it in case that dancing football player caught me. Except for you, Dead Mom. You know? BEETLEJUICE: Exorcism. Upgrade to PRO Sign Up for PRO to view suggested audition pieces! (a beat.) ADAM: So, Lydia since you can see us, let me get right to the point. Wheres Lydia? BARBARA: Fool your friends, fun at parties I DID IT! Having lost her. My guruOtho! Sorry! ADAM: I know, I know, me too. Maybe Ive been all wrong about you. My first name is Lawrence. Step right up and lets play a game that I like to call RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!. Wait! Drink it, or throw it out! Today, we come together to mourn the passing of Emily Deetz. Im Barbara, this is Adam. BEETLEJUICE: Ugh, holy moly, a lot of people come to this house, lights! It sayswe should draw a door. Respect. BEETLEJUICE: Well then you have to learn how to scare them! The Netherworld. Im on your side, and I always will be. CHARLES: Dont say that. LYDIA: Whats wrong sugarlumps? BEETLEJUICE: DID I SAY NETHERWORLD? Hes a monster. Theyre queens! Based on Tim Burton's 1988 wonderfully demented film, Beetlejuice The Musical follows Lydia Deetz - a strange and unusual teenager whose life takes an unexpected turn when she meets the former owners of her house - who just happen to be dead - and a degenerate demon from the Netherworld. God, you know, your mother knew this was going to happen. DELIA: Charles, that was the most spiritually nourishing rogering you have ever given me. she utters this indignant monologue. LYDIA: Were not a family. A few nights before she- before the end, Emily took my hand and said, I know you wanna fix it. CHARLES: Thats because Im trying to Delia, do your job please, life coach her. But heres the good news! DELIA: Oh! Theres a Toblerone, a bath bomb, a book youre never going to read. Lydia is injured at work but the Ghost with the Most decides it's his job to take care of her which starts to bring Adam and Charles around on the terribly suited relationship. MAXIE DEAN: I was never gonna invest in your stupid "gated community." ADAM: Im sorry, I have to say it, this house is not stupid. DELIA: Youre breaking up with me AND firing me? Some of the changes in the musical also seem to be influenced by Beetlejuice, the animated series. BARBARA: It was SO hard! New York, NY, Linda Ray The production is scheduled to close on June 6 . BEETLEJUICE: Oh yeah right! ADAM: Oh yeah? ADAM: You away from her! Well that was a soliloquy, so you're the one who's being rude. BEETLEJUICE: And I know that now. AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO PROCESS MY ANGER BECAUSE AS A SOCIETY WE DONT TEACH MEN HOW TO PROCESS THEIR ANGER, SO MAYBE ILL JUST TRYMURDER! What? BEETLEJUICE: PRETTY MUCH, ANY GHOST'LL DO, SURE. BARBARA: This is the first nice moment weve had sincesince we died. I cant see! Im gonna say it! From an outfit standpoint, her clothes launched the mood boards of many goth girls. Up the stairs! So. Where are you? And Id like us to be a family. Im just saying its not stupid. Ill marry you! We don't currently have any monologues from Beetlejuice . (a beat.) BEETLEJUICE: The people who bought your house! Adorable! STOREROOM - DAY Adam puts away the tape but keeps on humming the song. Ugh, classic Maitlands. Every dead person gets one, but since youre not actually dead, wanna see a sad puppet show? Lydia stopped short in the doorway, then began to laugh. BEETLEJUICE AND ENSEMBLE: THE WHOLE "BEING DEAD" THING! No one is like me! Beetlejuice The Musical is rumoured to open in London's West End in Spring 2023. BARBARA: SURE, THE GROOM CRAWLED OUT OF A TOMB, BARBARA/DELIA: CREEPY OLD GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY, I WANNA SEE A TEAR IN EVERY EYE AS I PASS BY, I KNOW THAT ON THE OUTSIDE HE'S DISGUSTING, BUT I KNOW THAT THIS TIME, I'M MAKIN' IT RIGHT, ALL: HERE COMES THE BRIDE HERE COMES THE BRIDE, I CAN'T BELIEVE SOME CULTURES THINK THIS KIND OF THING'S ALRIGHT, LYDIA: MY CREEPY OLD GUY MY CREEPY OLD GUY. Dont you remember when we moved in? April 25, 2019. Please, dont spin the wheel! Im going to suck your ghostinto it and trap it there forever!. We will just have to do this without her. Beebleboose! Yes book? LYDIA: I have a mother! Beetlejuice The Musical Merchandise, Music & Videos - Click . And he gave me this. (a beat.) BEETLEJUICE: Your mom? , me too 's like I told you, dad: this is a dark, yet smart. Scout: Okay Well- maybe I should come back mood boards of many girls. What shakes loose. & quot ; it & # x27 ; t die in Italy. & quot ; Let #. And then I need this job., delia: youre breaking up me! 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