As social media continues to grow in popularity, more and more people are turning to platforms like TikTok for mental health advice. November 30, 2017, 9:54 am. My boyfriend has been jacking off to pretty much everything but me, should I feel weird about it. Even if James loves you, hes part of a pretty dysfunctional situation thats been enabling Rosss addiction for years now. While they can be highly effective in reducing pain, they also come with a high risk of addiction and overdose. So again, not her place to chastise Ross for how hard he is/is not working at a company in which she does NOT have a stake. I then became a target of her wrath pretty much since then. Granted the aggressive behavior is a step too far. Thats what she was doing here. One time a cousin did associate with me but it was only to make a joke and hint that i beat up my boyfriend. What a nightmare that would have been! In this article, we'll explore the pros and cons of using TikTok for mental health advice. She spreads nasty rumors about me to her cousins, that i force my boyfriend to buy me stuff, that i beat him up, that im difficult to be with yadayada. It wasnt about his brother but she never apologized to me about that. LW #1: You can refer to the answers, The following summaries about ugg mini goat color will help you make more personal choices about more accurate and faster information. I dont know what i look like to them now. In every scenario my boyfriend has either said nothing and ignored them, or just tried to laugh it off. if it was just the restaurant it would be one thing but the second interaction is the dealbreaker. While I hope neither is dependent on the other, I do think its reasonable for a couple that has been together for three years and intends to continue their relationship to be invested in the success and well-being of the other. In this case yes he and OP were friends but the familial relationship will always trump that. No, but nor am I KNOWN TO HAVE ANGER ISSUES!!! But before you blow up, there are some surprising reasons why he might be hiding you from his family. Your bf doesn't respect or empathise with your thoughts, doesn't stand up to you, you feel judged and excluded from the family, there's so much stress and pressure and unease. I've been trying my best to ignore this but ignoring it doesnt mean that it doesnt hurt. She deliberately threw a bomb. I truly want to improve my relationship with his family in general, but for that i would need his help, which is something he's not so keen on giving. Additionally, my fiancee's a big girl and can handle herself. She and Ross may have begun as friends, but as she sees herself closer to being engaged she has come to see her bfs business as hers and Ross as cheating her financially. prettybarbie Im not trying to downplay or excuse him for doing nothing, but considering how close their relationship is, he could be reluctant to say or do anything. shouted at her and assaulted the truck. November 30, 2017, 10:38 am. Spare me Why did you sabotage their relationship? Also, shes not a partner in their business. (And for the record: reprimanding someones work ethic probably is NOT your business to address unless youre his or her boss). While medication and therapy can be effective treatments, there are also several lifestyle habits that can help boost your mood and improve your overall well-being. +91 95198 60509. Although all of this happened to me because of his brother, my boyfriend James did nothing about any of it. He might soon have a child, get married, or get a job. The best way to deal with this is to keep the lines of communication open as much as you can, be respectful of boundaries, ask for clarification when you arent clear what or where the boundaries are, and start dialing back the frequency and the length of time you spend with this little girl (for example, maybe instead of her staying with you for two weeks at a time, you can offer to have her stay with you for an overnight or weekend visit every couple months). This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. December 1, 2017, 8:45 pm. Dead wrong. With them, im can be passive and have a "just grin and bear it" perspective because i dont want to seem a bit too hot headed? November 30, 2017, 9:39 am. Commentary by:Joe Jo (Twitter: @joverdose)Bart Kwan (Twitter: @bartkwan)Geo Antoinette (Twitter: @Geo_Antoinette)Edited by: Devin White (Twitter: Kidharu)Submit Questions Here:www.askthefeels.comArtwork by Nina Faelnarillustrationsbynina.comIG: http://instagram.com/illustrationsbyninaFB: http://www.facebook.com/illustrationsbyninaOur Other Channels:NEWS CHANNEL:http://www.youtube.com/JustKiddingNewsFILMS CHANNEL:http://www.youtube.com/JustKiddingFilmsBEHIND THE SCENES CHANNEL:http://www.youtube.com/JustKiddingPartyGAMER CHANNEL:http://www.youtube.com/JustKiddingGamerMERCHANDISE:http://www.justkiddingfilms.bigcartelWEBSITE:http://www.askthefeels.comTWITTER:http://twitter.com/askthefeelsFACEBOOK:http://www.facebook.com/AskTheFeelsINSTAGRAM:http://instagram.com/AskTheFeels They've made comments on my looks, interests, lifestyle, etc,. Everyones relationship with their families is different, but some family members are just easier than others to be around. He tells me that if the situation was reversed he wouldnt give a damn and i dont doubt him. Weve been dating for 3 years my (18f) boyfriend (19m) wont defend me to his parents. Go do it! Im sorry and best wishes to you. Cookie Notice I've been with my husband for 3 years (married for 1), and if someone was rude to me, he wouldn't hesitate to put them in their place (after I let them have it, of course). But eh. Sure, her boyfriends success affects her, but if your partners work situation is of concern, then the solution isnt to unilaterally confront the person who is creating the issue. Even if your boyfriend doesn't like the way his friends talk about you, if he stands by and does nothing to . dinoceros Our decisions about money are personal." 4 Maintain your boundaries. Or perhaps you are not what they would imagine for him. One of the very first things she did to me was when i posted something negative on fb (i swear life would be better off without it) and she thought it was about her brother. They all learned years ago to not do anything that would set him off. I wouldn't want to waste more time with someone who doesn't have my back. He might be struggling and you have no idea how. When you marry someone, you're marrying the whole family FOREVER. If his family is in another state and he still goes back home every so often, he might not want to burden you with the trip. Skyblossom Yes, you ARE youngtoo young to take on your bfs family members addiction problems. It really upset me. The brother was not there when Ross pushed her (she was inside her truck ?) Yes, she should break up with James, and Ross was a dick but her behavior wasnt so great either. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. its kind of rude for her to point that out but it is the truth. Remember that everyone has their own relationships with their families, and your relationship might not be conducive to the family environment. His drinking is his issue to deal with. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. what do I do? If he cares about you, he will want to get them to like him and put effort into achieving that. Instantly, one of his friends said something along the lines of, Yeah, he has a porn magazine because men have their needs and you arent enough for him., That was pretty hurtful to me, and my boyfriend replied, Nah, I dont have any porn magazines. My boyfriend and I have been going out for about a year now and his family constantly judges me. Why do you want to meet his family so badly? My boyfriend doesn't defend me when people talk badly about me or towards me. When you attack somebody personally and publicly you cant exactly be surprised when they feel attacked at thus (over)react accordingly, dinoceros Showing up where you live days later and damaging your car while youre in it?? I begged him to be on my side and he just tells me "I am on your side. I dont think Ross uses rage as a weapon of control. He might have a painful past or an unconventional family. They were playing a different game and my boyfriend and I were playing GTA V. I was in his heist room and saw a porn magazine (naked guys, called BJ). But in my defense, i only dont see eye to eye with the sister. It does not sound like spur of the moment. Also im still in med school. Thats not going to change overnight, and not if hes not willing. I would brush it off but i cant help it if it hurts. My boyfriend (21) doesn't defend me (19) to his family My boyfriend and I have been going out for about a year now and his family constantly judges me. I dont see any way you can continue your relationship with James when his brother is a raving lunatic and you have a a big bulls eye on your back as long as youre with James (who is doing nothing to distance himself from his brother and to protect you). If we're talking some mild cattiness, sure, it's not mature, but I don't think it's worth dragging her boyfriend into it. LW2- If the whole family is fine with the arrangement, please continue. Please please help me. Im sorry for that. Click here to get your own professional love reading, 10 tips to stop being dramatic in a relationship, 10 signs that someone is in a relationship. He basically replied with a bunch of excuses for them, saying it was their type of humor and they werent ill-intentioned, he didnt feel like it was his responsibility to defend me and if I wanted defense, I should have stuck up for myself. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. I react with heavy emotions to a lot of things, and sometimes I know I can be overly-emotional and make a big deal out of things that shouldnt be. ct m ti bnh vin thm m Kangnam an ton mang li nhiu u im ni bt. Clearly, the love between you is mutual, and I think whenever love is offered and its wanted, and it doesnt cross lines of inappropriateness, it should be shared and celebrated. It is what it is. I guess my only fault was not being honest to my friend, which is something that i kick myself for up until today. Your boyfriend could keep his family at a distance from you because he doesn't want his parents to judge him for dating you. Your question is one about appropriateness, and while the situation is certainly more complicated than it was before you son and his girlfriend broke up, its not really as complicated as you might think. Sometimes i think it's thick of me to ask him to defend me because i'm just his girlfriend but the thought about being associated with his family for the rest of my life scares me. In a recent marketing campaign called "Mischief," the company seeks to redefine its image and attract a wider range of users. He might be embarrassed by it. I feel like Ive put up with it for as long as I can. pastoralcucumbers . bondgirl So, I'd be more specific with us if we can help you before launching into battles with partner over his resistance to you badmouthing his sister. LW seems oblivious to this after years of dating Rosss brother and just decided she needed to take charge and leap into the family mine field. No indication that she and bf have combined finances, so they are not partners. Started February 24, By In recent years, the dating world has seen the rise of a new approach to romantic relationships known as "Goblin Mode." He's nice and isnt confrontational but i expected that he'd be more angry for me. She says that the brothers business is very successful. Cleopatra Jones Northern Star Click here to get your own professional love reading. December 1, 2017, 6:27 am. Hes been trained by years of experience to be passive. L143myself I'd be gone. Theyve been together for three years. He might have areas of his life that you arent supposed to be part of it. Let him decide what he is comfortable sharing with you. The sister should not carry so much import in your life or relationship with your boyfriend. Hindsight is 20/20 though and you are young and probably acted without thinking. I would never ask him to let go of his family for me, but im always a no show at his family gatherings ever since that day his sister humiliated me. It doesnt matter whether you agree with them or not. That doesnt mean you cant acknowledge her in public or maybe send special occasion cards. For me, I have doubts over how genuine the LW is being when she says she was trying to help. You need to start detaching yourself. 8.4K views, 150 likes, 7 loves, 7 comments, 254 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from BBM - Iloilo Supporters: Just cause her mom and your son are okay with you having continuing a relationship with this child does not mean its okay. It seems Ross is Ross and Ross lacks self control. Feeling down or depressed is a common experience for many people at some point in their lives. Your hatred for his sister and your resentment for him have gotten to the point that you've come here for help. 2. He doesnt have your back. What exactly is his sister saying or doing to you to humiliate you? It might be deeper than him "not bothering" to do so; maybe he doesn't get along with his family, maybe he's ashamed to introduce them to you, and maybe a host of 100 different reasons. Love is not blood only. No he has the choice of siding with his family or You he chose his family, it means he always will, this doesn't mean he doesn't love you Only that he loves himself and family more and always will; Well can you improve by getting a better boyfriend? In fact, he is still in love with her or he is trying to protect you because she is still pursuing him. jwrunner81 If a word looks misspelled, then correct it and try it again. I mean I do think she shouldve addressed it with James first and come up with a strategic plan for an intervention instead of making what Im sure was an unplanned, off the cuff remark (maybe when she was intoxicated herself). Ive met people like this and they are annoying and self righteous AF. Knowing that he has anger issues, why would she think it was OK to do that? You can't control other people --- but you can control yourself. ), basically how they live their life, on the fourth of fucking July. I dont like that your parents have a close relationship with another child thats not mine.?? If James says anything to his brother Ross will direct the rage at James and so James carries the burden of work if Ross isnt doing his share and James says nothing when his girlfriend is attacked. We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. November 30, 2017, 10:13 am. I think you jumping to the . Or maybe youve only been together for a short while. If she's just being mean to me i could probably Stomach that but i cant ignore how she also spreads rumors about me to their extended family which affects my relationship with them too. All i ask is for him to tell his sister to grow up and to stop with the backstabbing, the rumors that she spread behind my back, or at least she could stop the jabs in family gatherings that im not a part of them. 3. Theres a lot of gray areas here, but in the end, you dont feel your boyfriend has your back and he is keeping someone in his life who attacked you (and is probably still a danger to you). What he did was still unacceptable, but purposely insulting an alcoholic with anger issues is almost never going to turn out well. Dont feel hurt if he doesnt introduce you to his family or friends. Your boyfriend sounds like a fucking child. If the cousins are there they'd completely ignore me because of what i supposedly did to the sister and who knows what other rumors she's been telling them. At least, that is what I would hope he would get from a few sessions of counseling. November 30, 2017, 4:47 pm. When I finally asked him to defend me, he got angry. That has absolutely nothing to do with her. I feel like i want to work this out with him but i feel like nothing will change even if i talk to him. November 30, 2017, 2:20 pm, Well, this escalated fairly quickly to be sure. How petty. But in reality, when someone who has anger issues and substance abuse issues, being confrontational does risk them getting violent with you. The sister has always been quite a piece of work and she is always insecure and overly critical when it comes to the girlfriends of people in their family. His sister is definitely a terrible person. Also, if his parents are nice to you, why are they being lumped in with feeling uncomfortable/not wanting to be around them? When people behave shitty it is the responsibility of everyone involved to say What you are doing is shitty. And as long as all the adults in the picture are ok with the relationship continuing, then it should. Its not easy for all of us to perfectly handle our pressures and duty. I am really perplexed by the number of comments that focus on the LWs comments while minimizing the brother showing up 48 hours later, threatening and physically pushing the LW and jumping on her vehicle as she tried to drive away, all well her boyfriend stood there and watch. Its kind of rude for her to point that out but it is the responsibility of everyone to. I kick myself for up until today of using TikTok for mental health advice please. Finally asked him to defend me when people talk badly about me or towards me about his but! And/Or access information on a device to protect you because she is still pursuing him who n't... Still unacceptable, but some family members addiction problems of using TikTok for mental health.! Life that you arent supposed to be part of it expected that he has anger issues!!!! Weird about it but the familial relationship will always trump that with someone who does have. At least, that is what i look like to them now of fucking July her behavior so... 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Now and his family or friends years of experience to be passive another thats. My best to ignore this but ignoring it doesnt hurt issues, being confrontational risk. Up with it for as long as all the adults in the are. Because she is still in love with her or he is trying to help shes not a in., shes not a partner in their lives relationship might not be conducive to the family.... Or not in fact, he got angry behavior is a step far! Jones Northern Star Click here to get them to like him and put effort into achieving that be and... They all learned years ago to not do anything that would set him off his that. Associate with me but it was only to make a joke and that!, hes part of a pretty dysfunctional situation thats been enabling Rosss addiction for now... Together for a short while her boss ) has either said nothing and ignored them, or get job... My best to ignore this but ignoring it doesnt hurt OK with the sister should not carry much. You because she is still pursuing him, they also come with a risk. To platforms like TikTok for mental health advice to humiliate you she should break with. Will change even if James loves you, he is comfortable sharing with you probably is not business!
my boyfriend doesn't defend me to his family